Archive

I wonder how many times I would’ve used a red turtle shell in traffic if they were real.

@It_Evaporated @castlerockhulu @hulu I do, indeed.

These days, almost anyone can be a food photographer. All you need is the right phone and the bravery to share food… https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1023707872700649472

After reading countless comments online, I’m convinced the national language of the United States is third grade English.

@lloydleb She was talking to my mom’s Google Home. She was trying to say, “Okay Google.”

The first word I understood my toddler niece saying is “Google.”

I just bought a NES Classic on Amazon for retail price! Get one before the leeches do. amazon.com/gp/product/B01…

Thanks for all of the ads for ED medication, Facebook. Do you know something I don’t?

I was recently reunited with an old friend. #nintendo #gameboy #tetris facebook.com/EricPMetze/vid…

I was recently reunited with an old friend. #nintendo #gameboy #tetris pic.twitter.com/ionnoxUl2j

So, this is what I’d look like in glasses. pic.twitter.com/h7kabaaSvP

My cousin Steve launched a Kickstarter campaign early this morning. Five hours later, it was funded. If you’re in t… https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1019288681566359555

Subtle. pic.twitter.com/Sj92DYGr5N

RT @StephenKing: Hey, Texas! I suppose you’re going to re-elect Ted Cruz, but I hope you don’t. Beto O’Rourke is mega-cool. Smart, too. Als…

All things considered, not a bad way to end the day. pic.twitter.com/XGpYD2yxCD

@alyankovic I know this isn’t photoshopped, but it looks photoshopped.

One day I will visit an airport and not feel the need to check in. TODAY IS NOT THAT DAY! — traveling to San Franci… https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1014633098087149568

Oh, the irony of working on Independence Day…

I wasn’t like a wall of fire. It was literally that. pic.twitter.com/Iw3f1K4ISr

I wasn’t like a wall of fire. It was literally that. facebook.com/EricPMetze/vid…

Time for a magic show… pic.twitter.com/vGi5K0gZK7

Maya’s got my back. pic.twitter.com/0R6fHYqhbp

I must not do laundry enough because I love the sound of the dryer running.

I’m one day into a juice cleanse, and I’ve already fantasized about pizza, hamburgers, and BBQ.