Archive – Metzae.net

Posts Egg nog sounds like something illegal you do to a chicken.

Dec 24, 2013

Posts Facebook will never have a dislike button. You can’t unsubscribe from something you don’t subscribe to.

Dec 10, 2013

Posts Why is it more socially acceptable to be an asshole than it is to call someone out for being one?

Nov 22, 2013

Posts I learned a new word today: enucleation. Spot, my ten-year-old cat, will be going through it sometime in the next couple days. Right now she is heavily medicated and talking to herself. I’m so glad she has no idea what’s coming.

Nov 18, 2013

Posts It’s a good thing there isn’t a font for sarcasm because that would never be useful.

Oct 24, 2013

Posts If there’s one good thing about the unwarranted negativity aimed at Obama, it’s that I can see how wrong I was to blame everything on Bush.

Aug 9, 2013

Posts I wish everyone loved their siblings as much as I love mine.

Jul 31, 2013

Posts Internet memes are the most rampant and tiresome form of plagiarism.

Jul 28, 2013

Posts Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me thrice, you’re a sociopath taking advantage of someone’s humanity.

Jul 25, 2013

Posts Shorts on men shouldn’t be ironic or literal. If they go down to your shins they’re not short, and if they show off your upper thighs they’re way too short.

Jul 22, 2013

Posts Anyone who believes this nation doesn’t have a serious problem with racism must not use the same internet I do.

Jul 16, 2013

Posts Have you ever clicked a link and lost an hour of your life surfing randomly? On a related note, why do people ask rhetorical questions?

Jul 15, 2013

Posts Dear firefighters of America, thank you for everything you do, and please forgive us for what we are going to do over the next couple days.

Jul 3, 2013

Posts I love waking up to find out that my bad dream was just that.

Jul 2, 2013

Posts You are not pro-life unless you care about people after they’re born.

Jun 26, 2013

Posts Don’t confuse my intolerance for bullshit with your definition of bigotry.

Jun 26, 2013

Posts If you’re a woman in Texas you should know the GOP thinks you’re sub-human.

Jun 25, 2013

Posts The most important person of the day is Wendy Davis…

The most important person of the day is Wendy Davis, but her works will literally last for generations. I’m even going to use a freakin’ hash tag: #StandWithWendy

Jun 25, 2013

Posts I could start my own personal “Texts from Last Night” collection, which means I definitely shouldn’t.

Jun 22, 2013

Posts My cousin was cool enough to find an excuse for me to chat with this really cute girl, and I was cool enough to totally blow it.

Jun 15, 2013

Posts My cousin was cool enough to find an excuse for me to chat with this really cute girl, and I was cool enough to totally blow it.

Jun 15, 2013

Posts Almost every time I ask a question that starts with, “Is it weird that I…” it means the answer is yes.

Jun 13, 2013

Posts “Dream Theater” Coming September 24th

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE JUNE 6, 2013 DREAM THEATER UNVEILS MILESTONE NEW ALBUM; GRAMMY®-NOMINATED ROCK ICONS TO RELEASE FIRST-EVER SELF-TITLED COLLECTION; WORLD TOUR TO BE ANNOUNCED SOON; “DREAM THEATER” ARRIVES ON…

Jun 6, 2013

Posts My favorite thing about being called a troll by a troll is imagining them sitting there eagerly waiting for a response that will never come.

Jun 5, 2013