Posts Dear firefighters of America, thank you for everything you do, and please forgive us for what we are going to do over the next couple days. Jul 3, 2013
Posts Have you ever clicked a link and lost an hour of your life surfing randomly? On a related note, why do people ask rhetorical questions? Jul 15, 2013
Posts Anyone who believes this nation doesn’t have a serious problem with racism must not use the same internet I do. Jul 16, 2013
Posts Shorts on men shouldn’t be ironic or literal. If they go down to your shins they’re not short, and if they show off your upper thighs they’re way too short. Jul 22, 2013
Posts Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me thrice, you’re a sociopath taking advantage of someone’s humanity. Jul 25, 2013
Posts If there’s one good thing about the unwarranted negativity aimed at Obama, it’s that I can see how wrong I was to blame everything on Bush. Aug 9, 2013
Posts It’s a good thing there isn’t a font for sarcasm because that would never be useful. Oct 24, 2013
Posts I learned a new word today: enucleation. Spot, my ten-year-old cat, will be going through it sometime in the next couple days. Right now she is heavily medicated and talking to herself. I’m so glad she has no idea what’s coming. Nov 18, 2013
Posts Why is it more socially acceptable to be an asshole than it is to call someone out for being one? Nov 22, 2013
Posts Facebook will never have a dislike button. You can’t unsubscribe from something you don’t subscribe to. Dec 10, 2013
Posts I think I may have created an internet meme a few years ago, but it’s impossible to prove, so I can’t take credit for it. Jan 22, 2014
Posts I have really got to get on this “I believe something and therefore it’s rude of you to question it” bandwagon. Jan 23, 2014
Posts I have really got to get on this “I believe something and therefore it’s rude of you to question it” bandwagon. Jan 23, 2014
Posts This morning I asked the Internet about the Grammy Awards, and it told me they sucked. Jan 27, 2014