Archive

Everything else. Twenty-plus years of posts, thoughts, tweets, and internet ephemera. Explore at your own risk.

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Posts Don’t confuse stubbornness for independence.

Mar 15, 2013

Posts Don’t forget: Facebook was originally designed to be an online dating site.

Sep 22, 2014

Posts Don’t mess with Texas or we’ll make our governor your president.

Sep 20, 2011

Posts Eating salad is like playing a mini-game where the object is to find something with flavor.

Mar 8, 2017

Posts Educating people on the proper way to use their own language has become one of the great ironies of American English.

Jul 24, 2014

Posts Egg nog sounds like something illegal you do to a chicken.

Dec 24, 2013

Posts Every single thing a kitten does is adorable. It’s ridiculous.

May 15, 2024

Posts Every time I move I question why I even own lamps.

Sep 10, 2016

Posts Every time someone I don’t know contacts me via private message, I think, “Ooh! Another Turing test!”

Jan 25, 2021

Aphorisms Every time someone says, “You don’t know what it’s like to be a parent,” all I can hear is, “I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be a child.”

Mar 6, 2015

Posts Everything you need to know about @realDonaldTrump is that he believes @CNN is “fake news” but @PrisonPlanetTV is actual journalism.

Jan 11, 2017

Posts Evidence > Confidence

Feb 4, 2014

Posts evidence > confidence

Feb 4, 2014

Posts Facebook just suggested I become friends with one of the worst human beings I have ever met. They need an “Add as enemy” button.

Feb 24, 2011

Posts Facebook will never have a dislike button. You can’t unsubscribe from something you don’t subscribe to.

Dec 10, 2013

Posts Few things are more frustrating than sitting second chair to someone who shouldn’t be first.

Feb 1, 2022

Posts Fight for what you love, but don’t fall in love with the fight.

Feb 14, 2012

Posts Finally got my hands on the all-new Google Stadia. Find me on Stadia as Metzae. https://t.co/577tKzZF9Q

#GoogleStadia

Nov 21, 2019

Music Follow Symphoniacal on Twitter

Since Twitter is enjoying it’s fifteen minutes, now is probably a good time to get in on the action.Â Please follow Symphoniacal on Twitter.Â I promise there won’t be many…

Mar 10, 2009

Posts Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me thrice, you’re a sociopath taking advantage of someone’s humanity.

Jul 25, 2013

Posts For the record, I never hit the laugh emoji or type lol unless it literally happens.

Apr 3, 2024

Posts Friday + payday = heyday

Feb 1, 2013

Posts Fun fact: humans are GMOs.

Apr 8, 2017

Posts Game over. Obama wins.

Nov 6, 2012