Archive – Metzae.net

Posts If you really believe that the world’s going to end this month, could you please email me your credit card information?

Dec 6, 2012

Posts “That’s why I’m vegan.”

If you’re chatting with someone who is talking about their health issues, and your addition to the conversation is to say, “That’s why I’m vegan.” Then you should be aware…

Dec 6, 2012

Posts There are few things that piss me off more than people who try to avoid or suppress discussions about guns. If you’re a responsible adult then act like it.

Dec 16, 2012

Posts You know why I like cat owners? You can’t fool a cat into thinking you’re a good person.

Dec 21, 2012

Posts If there’s one thing all this apocalypse talk should teach us it’s that we have way too many scientifically illiterate people in the world.

Dec 21, 2012

Fiction “So, having a good time so far?”

“So, having a good time so far?” “Yeah, I am. How about you?” “Well, you haven’t crushed my heart yet.” “This is just our first date.” “Then we’re off to…

Jan 23, 2013

Posts When someone says I’m rambling it’s usually because they haven’t given me time to finish my point.

Jan 25, 2013

Posts Jealousy is not a choice; it is a force of nature. Like any storm, it cannot be controlled; it can only be weathered.

Jan 31, 2013

Posts One of the reasons I like being a human instead of a cat: not getting pushed away from my food by the fattest person in the room.

Feb 1, 2013

Posts Friday + payday = heyday

Feb 1, 2013

Posts That awkward moment when you come face-to-face with someone who has un-friended you…

Feb 1, 2013

Posts That awkward moment when you come face-to-face with someone who has un-friended you…

Feb 1, 2013

Posts If anyone could hook me up with Alicia Keyes I would really appreciate it. No, really.

Feb 3, 2013

Posts Siri is surprisingly good at understanding me, but she seems to have the most trouble when my Texas accent comes out.

Feb 5, 2013

Posts If you emphasize everything then you emphasize nothing.

Feb 11, 2013

Posts One of the best things about being a pessimist is being wrong.

Feb 15, 2013

Posts Some studio recordings are so good I don’t even want the original artist to cover them.

Feb 18, 2013

Posts We were evolved to be consumers. Just think about how much of human history has been centered around the things we put inside of ourselves.

Feb 21, 2013

Posts I know it’s just the polite thing to do, but I feel really weird when people call me sir.

Feb 23, 2013

Posts So, apparently the Oscars were tonight, and I didn’t have to watch it because of all the comments on Facebook.

Feb 24, 2013

Posts The main problem with pointing out when someone’s acting immature is that they’re usually too immature to recognize it.

Feb 25, 2013

Posts I would rather deal with an uncomfortable truth than be subjected to a comfortable lie.

Mar 7, 2013

Posts The worst part of a cliche is the truth of it.

Mar 10, 2013

Posts Don’t confuse stubbornness for independence.

Mar 15, 2013