Archive
Everything else. Twenty-plus years of posts, thoughts, tweets, and internet ephemera. Explore at your own risk.
Pro tip: update your résumé *before* you go viral. Hashtag embarrassed.
If you don’t find this hilarious I weep for your sensibilities. fb.me/7caTyU5uq
My new favorite hobby is introducing Scott Pilgrim to millennials.
I just heard thunder that was so impressive it made me realize the word “thunderous” is way overused. fb.me/4uPVL7ZMV
Springtime does to the rest of the animal kingdom what wine and chocolate do to us.
Someone from California is stalking me. fb.me/2Xly2qkYp
It doesn’t matter if you’re male or female, old or young, beautiful or ugly…duckface is as attractive as fartface.
Correctly guessing someone’s wifi password is the closest I’ll ever come to being a hacker.
The best and worst thing about having a large bed is having it all to yourself.
The next time someone says something unbelievable, remember that we have a holiday dedicated to the gullible.
There are many things I miss about my hometown. Smashing into a massive tumbleweed at high speed is not one of them.
The stars and planets have literally aligned. Vernal equinox, solar eclipse, and the best gift the Internet has… fb.me/1TAIinaNb
I’m afraid this is going to crash my websites. fb.me/1OfUPvy1i