Category: Twitter

I hear that Molotov’s are hot this season.

Pro tip: update your résumé *before* you go viral. Hashtag embarrassed.

If you don’t find this hilarious I weep for your sensibilities. fb.me/7caTyU5uq

My new favorite hobby is introducing Scott Pilgrim to millennials.

I just heard thunder that was so impressive it made me realize the word “thunderous” is way overused. fb.me/4uPVL7ZMV

Springtime does to the rest of the animal kingdom what wine and chocolate do to us.

My spirit animal is human.

Someone from California is stalking me. fb.me/2Xly2qkYp

It doesn’t matter if you’re male or female, old or young, beautiful or ugly…duckface is as attractive as fartface.