Archive – Metzae.net

Fiction “I don’t like bad words…

“I don’t like bad words.” “You mean magic words.” “No, I mean curse words.” “Right. Magic words.”

Jan 3, 2015

Posts 31% of the world is Christian and 23% of the world is Muslim. Guess which group is third.

Sep 15, 2015

Aphorisms Ambivalence has done more harm than extremism ever could.

Oct 2, 2015

Articles Anyone who suggests that mass shootings are orchestrated in order to take away our guns should be forced to give up their guns because they’re too stupid to use them responsibly.

Oct 1, 2015

Posts Bad news: while I was driving down the highway my windshield wipers froze and I suddenly lost the ability to see. Good news: I was wearing Depends.

Feb 23, 2015

Posts Bad news: while I was driving down the highway my windshield wipers froze and I suddenly lost the ability to see. Good news: I was wearing Depends.

Feb 23, 2015

Aphorisms Being single is fun, except when it isn’t, and then it really isn’t.

Aug 3, 2015

Posts BREAKING NEWS: The sun will rise tomorrow, billions of people love each other, things are generally going to be okay, and life will find a way.

Jul 1, 2015

Aphorisms Critics are more like alchemists than chemists.

May 14, 2015

Posts Dear autocorrect, I’m from Texas. I type y’all way more often than tall.

Aug 9, 2015

Aphorisms Death is a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

Oct 8, 2015

Aphorisms Don’t let your talent for dodging Fate’s bullets cause you to miss Cupid’s arrows.

Jan 9, 2015

Aphorisms Every time someone says, “You don’t know what it’s like to be a parent,” all I can hear is, “I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be a child.”

Mar 6, 2015

Aphorisms Find yourself or no one else will.

Nov 12, 2015

Aphorisms Hating the president is like hating the weather.

Nov 21, 2015

Blog How Convenient

That one time when I made Kevin Smith’s day.

Jul 17, 2015

Aphorisms I don’t mind finding a new gray hair because I feel like I’ve earned it.

Jan 26, 2015

Posts I have been informed that my writing seems to be infused with too much passive voice, but I believe it has been shown that this is something that cannot be stopped.

Jan 29, 2015

Posts I have been informed that my writing seems to be infused with too much passive voice, but I believe it has been shown that this is something that cannot be stopped.

Jan 29, 2015

Blog I’ve waited 30 years to take this picture.

I grew up watching Sean, so it was a privilege to see him working in person. Not only is he as nice as I expected, he’s a great interviewer. He…

May 22, 2015

Posts If nothing else, The Dress is a great example of how differently people view the world and why evidence means different things to each of us.

#TheDress

Feb 27, 2015

Posts If nothing else, The Dress is a great example of how differently people view the world and why evidence means different things to each of us.

#TheDress

Feb 27, 2015

Posts It speaks volumes about our nation’s priorities when we lower our flags for military members but not for our other citizens.

Jul 22, 2015

Blog It’s William freakin’ Shatner!

I recently helped shoot an interview between William freakin’ Shatner and Jeremy Snead, the creator of Unlocked, an upcoming television series about video games.

Feb 11, 2015