Aphorisms Being pretentious about entertainment is like complaining about the nutritional content of popcorn. Jul 27, 2014
Aphorisms Blaming your behavior on the chemical you chose to ingest is like blaming your behavior on the gun you chose to shoot. Apr 11, 2013
Aphorisms Complaining about a democracy you won’t participate in is like complaining about a god you don’t believe in. Sep 13, 2014
Aphorisms Don’t let your talent for dodging Fate’s bullets cause you to miss Cupid’s arrows. Jan 9, 2015
Aphorisms Every time someone says, “You don’t know what it’s like to be a parent,” all I can hear is, “I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be a child.” Mar 6, 2015
Aphorisms Family is defined more by the impulses in our brains than what pulses through our veins. Oct 6, 2013
Aphorisms Father’s Day is the perfect day to thank all of the great fathers out there, but it’s also a good day to tell the rest to get their shit together. Jun 16, 2013